Hey!!!

No, I do not "Wanna See [Your] Pic's". I want you to stop spamming me, and to learn how to use apostrophes.

And I'm saddened that I no longer get good, funny spam subject lines like I did two years ago. Where's the creativity? Where's the pizazz? Where's the effort?

*Stress*

So we're refinancing our house. Now is an excellent time to do it - our credit scores are good, and we can seriously cut our interest rate and our monthly payments, which will mean bettering our ability to work on our other debt.

But apparently the financial institution (well, any of them would but ours does) requires an appraisal of the house. I guess to make sure we haven't trashed the place in the 10 years since Chris bought it. (Jeez! 10 years!) The appraisers are coming at 10 a.m. Monday (that's right - a.m. - *dies*).

While many things dissatisfy me about our house, I am now freaking out about the stuff I overlook on a daily basis because it's what we live with:

- The flooring is the worst - it's decent, but far from good enough for selling the house, thanks to the cats and ferrets. The ferret room is atrocious. Our stairs are totally torn up in places. If only Empire Carpets serviced our area, we'd take care of it! But no: the fuckers torture me with their commercials on a daily basis, but they apparently won't come to my home for a consultation OR next day installation.

- The paint: we haven't touched it up. In years. Our ceilings have marks from my clumsy attempts at assistance. We have moved/replaced fixtures like the doorbell and thermostat, and never painted the newly-exposed areas. There are chipped/stained spots from my clumsy behind smacking into walls with furniture and pretty much anything else. And with all the critters, we can't just paint willy-nilly. Being psycho about my babies, I just don't trust those supposedly "safe" (no/low VOC) paints out there.

- The banister going down to the basement has been off the wall for *years*, since removing it to bring our old and oft-missed burgundy sofa and loveseat down there. And I don't want to put it back up, since we'd just have to take it down again to get Toaster's cage out of there.

- Oh Lord, speaking of Toaster - what will they think of our quarantined kitty and her freakish gigantic cage?

- And again on her - the trim in the door jambs we had to take down to get her cage into the master bedroom and then into the basement!

- And Dolly! - what will they make of my funny little hate-bird and her sprawling empire that takes up a good bit of the living room?

- Our lame attempt at amateur crown molding should probably come down, but then there would be nail holes. Soooo many nail holes.

- The crack in the foundation - that's a biggy. We can get it epoxy sealed, and were planning to do that this year, but how will it look in just a few days? What will it do to our home value?

- We still have just too much STUFF. I have been de-cluttering like a madwoman, but it just doesn't feel like I've made much headway.

- The porn! Where will I hide the porn?!? And the whips and chains?


Ok, I'm kidding about the last bit. But seriously it's just so overwhelming. I still have up our wreath and a random decoration I forgot about from Christmas! At the same time, I know our house is in better shape than many, especially around here, so I'm tempted to just clean and say "screw it". But with housing prices being what they are, I'm afraid that attitude (and the market fluctuations) will manage to price our house so low that somehow things will end badly. Mostly excessive worry on my part, but sadly not *totally* unrealistic these days.

So for now, I will swim in my stress. Bathe in it. And hopefully, eventually, emerge on the other side renewed and clean. Hopefully.

Cross your fingers for me!

Note to self

Everything is available on amazon. EVERYTHING. Usually cheaper than anywhere else online, and with free 2-day shipping (thanks to my Prime membership, which is worth its weight in gold).

Cheese? Check.

Niche perfumes? Check.

Trampolines? Check.

So why the heck am I constantly forgetting this fact and buying things on other sites, only to discover I've wasted money? No clue.

So this is my reminder to myself - when shopping online, *always* check amazon first.

A raffle!

I know times are tight for everyone, but if you have a few spare dollars, and would consider spending them on chances to win items for a worthy cause, please check out this raffle:

http://fundraisingforlinda.com/

The gal running the raffle is someone I absolutely trust, and she is doing it for a wonderful reason. I donated a number of the items (as you can see by the donor names listed), and there are several things I intend to go for. I hope you will at least take a look and think about doing the same!

Poor baby

As much as I anthropomorphize everything around me, and often attribute understanding to my non-human children when it's really not there, I am sometimes reminded that my babies are not reasoning creatures. In this case, it's Elcy:




She was tearing around the house like she was possessed all weekend. All day, all night. Running into the bedroom, then back out. Running down the stairs and out into the dining room, then zooming back up the stairs again. She gets lit sometimes so I didn't think much of it, although it was excessive friskiness for her.

Monday she was invisible all day. Again, not uncommon - she likes to sleep in the bedroom all day and I was (as I have been all week, unfortunately) on a diurnal schedule, and I assumed she was up there. But when I went up to ferret-proof (close off the bedroom and guest room) to let Harriet and Podo out, she was sitting in one of the litter boxes. This is what our litter boxes look like:




So basically she was sitting in a little kitty cave. I thought she was just being goofy and weird (as is her wont), so I gave her some skritches and then shut the door and went on about my business.

But she never came to bed that night.

Tuesday she was still in the box. All day. When I went to let the fuzzies out in the afternoon, I decided she needed to come out, since as a rule the kibble is only downstairs and I don't keep water in the guest room for them. So I took the top off the litter box and she cringed and acted frightened. I shooed her out of the room, and the ran into the hallway and just crouched in the middle of the hall. As she ran, I heard crackling. I went to pet her, and she just cowered, trembling and growling at me. I've only ever seen her act that way at the vet, where she is unreasonably terrified. When I touched her, I got a zap and the lightbulb turned on.

Our house is very dry. Except when I'm sick, I prefer it that way as it's easier on my lungs. And apparently Elcy's fur texture is super-conducive to static electricity, and has been made that much more so by the lack of moisture in the house. Just walking around is enough friction to set off multiple little charges. All that running around and then the hiding in the litter boxes was my poor kitty trying to escape whatever was shocking her repeatedly! I can't even begin to imagine what she thought was happening to her. And I can't explain to her why it's ok, and why it will be all right.

I put our humidifier in the bedroom and turned it on full blast, and I set a big pot of water on the oven to simmer. I've gone through many gallons of water in the past 2 days, and the house is definitely more humid. Elcy is calmer, but still hiding out in the litter box, so there is now water and a little bowl of food in the guest room for her.

It's hard enough, dragging them to the vet when they don't know why mommy is making them go to the scary place where people do mean things to them. How do you comfort a kitty who thinks she's being tormented by invisible electric monsters?