Thursday, February 23, 2006


Jeez Louise! I just went to itunes to satisfy my Arctic Monkeys curiosity (thanks Mireille!) and was greeted with yet ANOTHER sign of the end times:

I'm N Luv (Wit A Stripper) is #4!!! Seriously, WHAT is wrong with people??? I'm not claiming to have the *best* taste in music, but seriously. Enough is enough. Please, Lord, do NOT let this song reach #1 on ANY chart other than my "Seriously Stupid Songs" list...

And although only tangentially related to this post, I have to say this: Arctic Monkeys may be lyrically talented (I'm still digging through their lyrics so I can't speak to that), but musically they suck. Sorry if there are any fans out there, but I'm simply speaking my truth. The vocals are beyond substandard, their range is laughable (I think they may perform in a generous maximum of 3 keys), and the instrumentals are a sad sad joke on me, the listener.

I don't know if I feel relieved, because I really don't know WHAT I'd do if "the next Beatles" actually came along, or sad that they don't even APPROACH a caliber where I'd have to question my faith/values/taste. As much as I adore the Fab Four, I honestly pray that someone comes along someday to challenge (and maybe even surpass) their place in music history, but today is not the day, and Arctic Monkeys are not the group to do so. So to whoever it was that hailed them as such: buy some damn q-tips.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Lord works in mysterious ways...

but the Devil doesn't fuck around. Case in point:

These are so damn good, "sinful" doesn't begin to adequately describe them. If you can't find them in your grocery store (where I bought mine, much to my shame) you can buy them here:

I know I shouldn't tell you guys these things, but if I'm going to Hell, I at least want some of my buddies there with me!

Sunday, February 19, 2006


I don't know how to go from a truly depressing subject like my last post to something new. I feel like if I post something funny that happened to me or that I thought of, it somehow negates the seriousness of the prior entry. That's why I initially wanted to have 2 blogs - so I could keep things separate. But that felt dishonest somehow, so I decided to go with just this one. Thus, my current dilemma. I know life can't be compatmentalized, but dammit I WANT it to be.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


Yesterday was a BAD day. I wandered over to the little tank to check on the current bunch of otos I'm quarantining before adding them to the 65-gallon tank, to find one little guy lying on his side at the bottom of the tank. He was still alive and moving, just in some apparent distress.

So I pulled out a large, tall tupperware and put some water in it (I always have water sitting out in old milk jugs to age, for the fish) and added some water treatment chemicals and medicine. I scooped him out using our lovely bong-like fish scoop (see it here: and dropped him into the tupperware, along with a pellet of food. He perked up and swam around the bottom a bit, latched onto the side a couple times, came to rest on the food pellet, and munched a bit. And I, being the eternally hopeful and foolish girl that I am, gave him a name (Charlie) and lavished him with love and conversation and all the good vibes I could muster.

Of course, not long thereafter, Charlie worsened. He wound up unable to remain upright (kept falling on his side), and grew progressively stiffer. I eventually had to face the fact that there was nothing I could do, other than help him end his life with as little suffering as possible. And he *was* suffering. He was trying to move, but unable - his fins and tail kept fluttering, and he would twitch, but his little body was stiff and unresponsive. I could NOT just sit there and wait for him to die, seeing him the way he was.

I had always heard that the most humane way to euthanize a fish is to put it in the freezer, so I put the lid on the tupperware and put him in. But I started thinking that this method isn't all that fast, and might in fact NOT be humane. So (as with all things I don't know) I got online and did some research. As it turned out, the "slow" freezer method isn't the kindest way to put a fish down. The fastest and kindest way to euthanize a fish is by temperature shock, either hot or cold. For a more detailed explanation (as well as several other methods and evaluations of how humane they are), check out this site:

Not having any ice or ice water on hand (I don't drink water, and my teeth are sensitive so I don't use ice) I had to get a little creative. I pulled out a tupperware of frozen homemade chicken broth, put it in a bowl, ran cold water over it, and chopped it into chunks. This got the water temperature sufficiently cold enough (in my mind), and I dropped little Charlie in. As far as I can tell, he passed instantly, but he was already very stiff from whatever was ailing him, so I couldn't say for sure. I left him in there a few minutes, and then chopped off his poor little head, just to be certain. Overkill, I know (ha ha NOT funny but what other word is there?), but I had to know it was done beyond a shadow of a doubt.

So two horrible milestones for me in one day. Hell, in one HOUR. I made the decision to euthanize a pet for the first time in my life, and I deliberately killed the most highly evolved animal I ever have. Well, as far as I know - who's to say what constitutes "highly evolved"? That's another discussion though. I've never knowingly, let alone intentionally, taken the life of a vertebrate creature. I've been in the position several times where I *should* have, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, and the guilt has eaten at me since. Now I have a whole different sort of guilt to live with, but I think it's an easier sort, or will prove to be over time anyway. I went and bought a bottle of vodka yesterday to keep in the freezer - if the situation presents itself again, I'll be prepared.

I can't stop crying, and I don't know if it's more for Charlie or me.