Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I love the British show "How Clean Is Your House?" that airs on BBCA. Partly because of the insane gross-out factor. Partly because it makes me feel SO good about my housekeeping skills. Partly because it inspires me to clean up around here.

What I hate? That they do the preliminary inspection and paw through the filthy houses WITHOUT GLOVES!!! People literally don't clean their kitchens or bathrooms for years (sometimes decades), and they slide their unprotected fingers through the muck and then hold them up to the camera. They use their nails to scrape of hellacious detritus from dishes that, again, literally haven't been washed in years. They pull giant clumps of hair and rotting things from drains. The pick up dead bugs. All with no gloves.

I'm sure this is all meant to heighten the *squick* factor (note to the BBC: it works!), but I'm honestly shocked that these women haven't contracted some bizarre disease from doing this. I'm equally - if not more - surprised that the insurers underwriting the program/studio/whatever don't require gloves. Lord knows that the few times they've sent swabs off for analysis, there have been some pretty skeevy results! Skeevy as in "organisms I was taught are 'rare' back when I was in pharmacy school, yet here they are coating entire rooms of houses." I remember one house where the dad had a saltwater aquarium, and he fed his fish raw food (squid, etc.) then went about his business without washing his hands. His ENTIRE house was coated with toxic levels of salmonella. They were a bit freaked because there were NO other organisms - the salmonella was colonized at such high levels that it had actually killed off any other bacteria!

I know I'm odd in that I buy boxes of latex gloves for myself, for doing things like cutting up raw meat and stinky veggies like onions. That's mostly about the fact that the idea of that gunk under my nails or smelling up my hands bugs me. But would it be so hard for these gals to pop these on? Heck, it might further emphasize just how nasty these houses are!

Aggie? Kim? Put on some gloves!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

D-bag test strips

Are you really a d-bag?

"Studies have shown that up to 30% of coffeehouse and restaurant patrons are giant assholes who want to bitch about the supposed fraud regarding the caffeine content of the decaf coffee they made a huge fucking deal about ordering. The D-Bag™ Test strip is a unique new product that quickly and easily determines whether you are the type of jerk to jump up and wave a little piece of paper in your waiter/waitress/barista's face and shriek, 'I knew it! This isn't decaf! Here's the proof!!!' to the irritation of all around you and the embarrassment of anyone unfortunate enough to be accompanying you at the time.

Quick and simple to use, with lab accurate results - simply contact the test strip to the beverage sample and view results. If they corroborate your deep dark suspicions, leap about and shout like the jackass you are. If not, smile knowingly to any human who is unlucky enough to catch your glance, and smugly say, 'It actually is decaf! This time...'"

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Cleaning house

I feel guilty about weird things. One of my huge hangups is upsetting people. Well, hurting their feelings - I don't mind pissing folks off. I'm not sure what the difference is in my mind, but it's there.

Anyway, I have some links to blogs I just don't read anymore. And a bunch more to blogs where the person just isn't posting. So I'm deleting them. I still love all the people involved, and enjoyed the content, but my list is too big and kinda defunct. I doubt any of the people involved will even notice, much less care, but I'm apologizing anyway. If it upsets you that I deleted your link, I'm sorry.

I am so lame.


A few pics of La Bamba, from her visit this past week:
"What? I'm adorable! Love me!"

Too cute to be a book...

On the Super 80's Blanket

Scary yawn

Helping Chris play WoW

In the ferrets' peanut dig box

Really getting into it!

Supervising my dishwasher-loading

"I can look precious anywhere, even sitting on a dishwasher door!"

Staring Dolly down (she is obsessed!)

Dolly, pissed at being closed in (for her safety!) and stared at

She's just too cute for words!!! R & K are lucky Bambina is so obsessed with my poor birdie (and just a general pain in the way only kittens can be), otherwise they might have a hard time getting her back!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


I have a number of small, unimportant things I want to accomplish in the not-too-distant future. I want to find a perfume that feels like a HG and inspires a modicum of enthusiasm in Chris (highly unlikely). I want to find the perfect Christmas gift for the friends and family members I'm shopping for. I want to sell (and get good prices on) a number of things on eBay that will be a bit of a hassle and aren't really selling well there, but are taking up space I can't spare at this time.

But one small goal WAS reached recently, thanks to the lovely Marina: I have TV fingernails!

Maybe you know what I mean, maybe you don't. Women/girls on TV with "neutral" nails (i.e. not noticeably painted) are universally wearing polish with a similar "feel": sheer or semi-sheer, pale, off-white and not quite pink. And I've been searching for *ages* for a polish that works like that for me.

My vastly mixed heritage doesn't help. Thanks to the blend of French, Scottish, English, Polish (we suspect, though it has never been admitted), Ukrainian, Russian, and (most largely represented) dark Irish and Greek, my coloring is confusing. People who don't know me tend to assume I'm Latina, Italian, or Native American, three groups I am not. I'm brown - dark brown hair, brown eyes, and olive skin. But something in my genetic makeup causes me to be almost paradoxically cool-toned. I look warm. Most color chart thingies say I *should* be warm. But I have the tell-tale blue veins that say otherwise, and the fact that I look terrible in most warm colors to support it. I am a "deep winter", though I don't think I look the part.

The other wrench in the gears of my search is also genetic. I am one of those rare females who is color-blind. In my case, it's more like "color weak". I am red-green deficient, and am what's known as an anomalous trichromat - more specifically, I "suffer" from deuteranomaly. Very dark greens appear black to me. Very dark purples appear green or black to me. Some very dark blues appear black to me. I have difficulty with lighter shades too, but it's more in terms of things "matching" than thinking lavender is lime. I don't see purples or pinks or greens quite how others see them.

Actually, "matching" is part of my color-blindness story. My dad is (obviously) color-blind. For years, he would consult me in the morning as to whether his ties matched his shirts, since he couldn't tell. I always thought his combos looked great! The year before 4th grade, when it became clear I needed glasses, my parents took me to the eye doctor. As part of the exam, he tested my color vision. Everyone (including the doc) was surprised to discover my issue! And apparently dad went to work and told people, at which point they came clean to him that his attire hadn't approached "matching" in quite some time. It's this knowledge, plus my personal inclinations, that has led me to wearing an almost entirely black wardrobe.

Wow. Major digression. The point is that I have found a few nail polishes I liked that, upon consultation with others, turned out to be entirely unflattering for me. It's hard enough to find reviews for polishes that apply to my odd-ish skin tone, but adding a deficient perception into the search makes it even more problematic.

But the search is over! I checked with Chris, and he said that the color is "subtle, but nice," which is exactly the goal! My nails look wonderful (to me) in all lighting scenarios so far, and look good to my independent observer. And it's a shade that, in the bottle, I would never have chosen for myself: Seche Chic. In the bottle, it looks far too warm and dark and pink for my tastes. But it is sheer, and I guess that and my own tones combine to make it work for me. It isn't quite YNBB, but it's a step better for me - *idealized* nails, like what I get with Essie's Jackie Oh My, but requiring fewer coats.

So once again, I owe the amazing Marina a debt of gratitude! I don't think I'll ever regret being selfish again :~D

Saturday, November 15, 2008


I'm kitten-sitting this darling baby (her name is La Bamba) for a week:

I woke up today to her cleaning my *entire* face. I was nervous at first, because with hands/fingers she tends to be a "lick-lick-chomp" kinda kitty. But she just wanted to wash my face, and was very into it. It was quite an exfoliation! I had to turn my head a few times, when she tried to clean my eyelids, because it was borderline-painful. But aside from that, I received the full Kitten Peel™ treatment!

If there are any beneficial effects, I'll be sure to report them.

photo stolen from her daddy's facebook page

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Winter is coming...

to HBO!!!


Now we just need to cross our fingers for an announcement about "A Dance With Dragons"...

Friday, November 07, 2008

Ask, and it shall be given!

Rachel Maddow on Colbert!!! My year is complete.

(Oh, and Rob: did you hear him compare her to Benedict Arnold?)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


To the citizens of the U.S., the planners and organizers, the universe...

Thank you for these fantastic election results! Thank you for hoping and working and VOTING!

We can only go up from here. The sky is the limit. Our country is on the verge of a massive re-invention and re-affirmation of all the things that make us great.