Saturday, May 27, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Removing myself
So a little while back I joined a yahoo group (yes, I do this ALL the time - not sure why but I seem to love joining yahoo groups) for INTJs. I was interested in seeing what my fellow Masterminds were up to, what they liked thinking about and discussing, since I know very few INTJs. In fact, the only other ones I've ever met are fellow frag board members. Wonder what Kiersey would have to say about perfume addiction...
Anyway, I joined a while ago, and just recently decided to change my messages to "individual emails" to see what was up. I even participated in a number of discussions. I love to argue, especially with people who are intelligent and can express themselves logically and clearly. I figured if I could do so in any forum, that would be the one! Maybe I idealized the "type" too much, because just as there are instigators everywhere, I ran into a few there.
As I said, I love to argue. But this is provided that the other person/people are actually making rational points. Instead, I'm dealing with button-pushers who want to invoke an emotional response and undermine me that way, rather than address my statements. WTF? Emotionalism, sweeping generalizations, and name-calling have no place in a debate, as far as I'm concerned. If people can't their points rationally and logically, I really have no use for them.
So, as I often do with groups (and people) I no longer take pleasure in associating with, I'm distancing myself. This is usually followed by removal, though not always. But really - why waste my time and emotional energy in a situation that brings me nothing but irritation? There are a few people there who really have interesting things to say, so I may stick around, but the bad apples really have spoiled the barrel for me.
I'm often curious about how many other people respond similarly to this sort of situation. I can be a little too generous in dealing with others and giving them the benefit of the doubt, but once someone crosses the line with me that's pretty much it. I've cut a number of people off in my life, and I honestly have no regrets about it. Well, that's not quite accurate - I have no regrets about cutting them off, but I do have regrets about engaging with them in the first place. I know I'm supposed to be "intuitive" and "judging" as an INTJ, but when my intuition leads me astray and I judge someone incorrectly as being worthy of my time/emotion/trust, it really aggravates me.
So I remove myself.
Anyway, I joined a while ago, and just recently decided to change my messages to "individual emails" to see what was up. I even participated in a number of discussions. I love to argue, especially with people who are intelligent and can express themselves logically and clearly. I figured if I could do so in any forum, that would be the one! Maybe I idealized the "type" too much, because just as there are instigators everywhere, I ran into a few there.
As I said, I love to argue. But this is provided that the other person/people are actually making rational points. Instead, I'm dealing with button-pushers who want to invoke an emotional response and undermine me that way, rather than address my statements. WTF? Emotionalism, sweeping generalizations, and name-calling have no place in a debate, as far as I'm concerned. If people can't their points rationally and logically, I really have no use for them.
So, as I often do with groups (and people) I no longer take pleasure in associating with, I'm distancing myself. This is usually followed by removal, though not always. But really - why waste my time and emotional energy in a situation that brings me nothing but irritation? There are a few people there who really have interesting things to say, so I may stick around, but the bad apples really have spoiled the barrel for me.
I'm often curious about how many other people respond similarly to this sort of situation. I can be a little too generous in dealing with others and giving them the benefit of the doubt, but once someone crosses the line with me that's pretty much it. I've cut a number of people off in my life, and I honestly have no regrets about it. Well, that's not quite accurate - I have no regrets about cutting them off, but I do have regrets about engaging with them in the first place. I know I'm supposed to be "intuitive" and "judging" as an INTJ, but when my intuition leads me astray and I judge someone incorrectly as being worthy of my time/emotion/trust, it really aggravates me.
So I remove myself.
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