*Sigh*...
http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah6563.shtml
Really, Jamie? "... give him the benefit of the doubt"?? "... he really didn't know the extent of it"???
In his plea, he admitted to at least "participating in" the killing of "approximately" 8 dogs (i.e. that was the number of dogs they had evidence of execution, so that's what they admitted to. God knows how many really died at their hands). That's not bad enough for you?
He bankrolled the freaking operation! In other words, Bad Newz Kennels wouldn't have existed if it wasn't for him. And although he managed to refrain from making his own side bets (gee, Mike, how moral of you) he also bankrolled the gambling. Still acceptable behavior?
Oh. Right. He didn't know any better. People have to be told that abusing and killing animals is the wrong thing to do. And that financing illegal gambling is akin to placing those illegal bets yourself. My bad.
Foxx is officially on my Fuck Off And Die list.
And in case you were wondering, Jamie, paying someone to kill someone else is also a crime and a bad thing to do. Just so you know. Tempting (especially with Vick soon to be in a shank-friendly environment), but a bad thing to do.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
An open letter...
to writers, editors, and publishers across the globe:
If a person is overcome by pain - be it physical, emotional, psychic, etc. - or fever or doubt, said person is "wracked". They are NOT "racked". Yes, these feelings might be excruciating, but they aren't actually taking the person in question, placing them on a medieval torture device, and stretching them by their limbs. Nor are they taking said person and placing him/her on a green felt table in a triangular pen with a bunch of balls in preparation for a game of billiards. Feelings can't do these things. They are feelings.
I am so unbelievably sick of seeing this [typo? poor word choice? I don't know what to call it] in books. Granted, it's not exactly high-minded literature (I see it most often in romance novels), but still. Get it together, people!
Sincerely,
A Disgruntled Reader
P.S. I am aware that certain dictionaries disagree with me on this matter (I'm looking at you, American Heritage Dictionary). They are assholes. The same assholes who added "ain't" to their lexicon(s), despite years of teachers everywhere telling students that, "Ain't ain't a word."
If a person is overcome by pain - be it physical, emotional, psychic, etc. - or fever or doubt, said person is "wracked". They are NOT "racked". Yes, these feelings might be excruciating, but they aren't actually taking the person in question, placing them on a medieval torture device, and stretching them by their limbs. Nor are they taking said person and placing him/her on a green felt table in a triangular pen with a bunch of balls in preparation for a game of billiards. Feelings can't do these things. They are feelings.
I am so unbelievably sick of seeing this [typo? poor word choice? I don't know what to call it] in books. Granted, it's not exactly high-minded literature (I see it most often in romance novels), but still. Get it together, people!
Sincerely,
A Disgruntled Reader
P.S. I am aware that certain dictionaries disagree with me on this matter (I'm looking at you, American Heritage Dictionary). They are assholes. The same assholes who added "ain't" to their lexicon(s), despite years of teachers everywhere telling students that, "Ain't ain't a word."
Friday, July 13, 2007
Random Stuff
Because I need to write *something*, if only to get something less depressing at the top of my blog, here are a few random facts/thoughts from me:
- I peel chicken nuggets for my cats. I don't eat McDonalds often anymore, but when I do, I get McNuggets. These things transform Tito and Garlic into vultures, mainly because for as long as I can remember I've saved the last nugget for them. I peel it because despite the fact that I *know* the inside is no more "meat" than the breading, I still feel like feeding them the breading is a bad idea.
- I think if I shaved my head, my hair would grow in curly. I have no intention of ever doing it, but the thought persists.
- I'm pretty sure my nail polish preoccupation is now on par with my perfume and lipstick obsessions. Thankfully, nail polish is *way* cheaper than frags and lippies.
- The little twerp who totaled my car is *actually* fighting the tickets he incurred while smashing up my poor Accord! I got a notice in the mail the other day that I have to go to court as a witness for the police officer. Grrr! I hope that asshole loses on every ticket. I will do my best to make it so.
- This past saw the 6th anniversary of Lore collective! We didn't feel much like celebrating last year, despite it being a milestone, but this year was nice. Nothing exciting, just dinner at Sullivan's. But that's all we need, really. Just feed us some kickass steaks and soufflés and we're good to go.
That's all for now. I'll end on a positive note. Hope all is right in the world for the rest of you!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
It Never Gets Easier
It hurts, killing something you love. I mean *actually* doing it yourself. Not necessarily more than arranging for someone else to do it, sitting there while someone else presses on the plunger. In a way, that's harder. Because not only do you have to admit that everything is out of your control beforehand, but then you have to give up that last little bit. Give someone else that last, final authority.
But to physically do it yourself? That takes something different. Because after you give up everything, every last hope and wish, you have to do the unthinkable. You have to set up whatever is involved in the method you choose. That's after doing research, of course, to find the best, most humane method. And after you set everything up, you have to gather him up, which in and of itself may be difficult, if he's a fighter and uncooperative. You have to gather him up and say that last goodbye. Maybe try to explain why it is you're doing what you're doing. Maybe explain why you waited so long to take this necessary step. Maybe pray for that sign that never comes, that you made a mistake and everything is going to be ok after all.
And once you've done these things, these terribe, horrible, excruciating things, you have to do that last thing. That thing which will take him away from you forever.
That last, final motion is the hardest thing you will ever do. Because you know, as he will and can never know, exactly what it means. What you are doing and why. Taking his last decision away from him, his last feeling, his last everything. And he is gone.
And now his tanks sit in silent reproach on the bookshelves where they still remain, half full. Half full because in his final months, he was too weak to swim to the surface for breath easily, so you lowered the height of the water in order to make the journey shorter and easier. And it was what he needed. The tank on the right, which he never went back into, with sand on the bottom because you thought that might be gentler than pebbles on his ragged, tattered fins that had seen so much time for one of his kind, and survived disease you were sure would kill him. But he was a fighter. And you can't yet bring yourself to clean them out, empty them, because it will be the last thing you do for him. And you've already done so much, so many painful things, and you're not sure you can bear one more.
And you feel silly, feeling so much, so strongly, for one who was with you for such a short period of time. Who most people wouldn't think twice about losing, or if they did it wouldn't hurt them this way. You feel, somehow, like you failed again. Though you know with every bit of reason available to you that you didn't, you still feel like you did.
It never gets easier. And it shouldn't.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
A loss
I just read that Lloyd Alexander, one of my favorite childhood authors, passed away on Thursday. I credit him and Tolkein with my love of fantasy fiction, and am sad to hear of his passing.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Look how freaking prolific I am!
*Another* post! In less than 2 weeks! And I still haven't shared jack shit that's actually personally relevant!
That would be because I'm procrastinating, and because I hate whining. And so much crap has gone on in the past couple weeks that I'm avoiding writing about it, and am instead writing about other stuff to distract myself. Because I can't figure out how to write about my own stuff *without* sounding like I'm whining, and I'm not ready to focus any more of my "free" energy on thinking about it enough to write. I'd rather spend said energy on fun things. Like this awesome survey I linked to from gofugyourself:
blogreaderproject.com/survey (Yes, same link as above. I'm thorough.)
It was a fun and comprehensive survey about what I (the survey-taker) like and what I do. As I'm sure I've said a bajillion times, I'm a compulsive self-analyzer. This poll was perfect. Detailed, but not laboriously so. Exhaustive, but not excessively (IMO) intrusive for an online questionnaire.
If you, dear reader, also wish to waste a good 10 - 20 minutes on something interesting and not too onerous, check it out! Fill it out! You might just enjoy it :~D
That would be because I'm procrastinating, and because I hate whining. And so much crap has gone on in the past couple weeks that I'm avoiding writing about it, and am instead writing about other stuff to distract myself. Because I can't figure out how to write about my own stuff *without* sounding like I'm whining, and I'm not ready to focus any more of my "free" energy on thinking about it enough to write. I'd rather spend said energy on fun things. Like this awesome survey I linked to from gofugyourself:
blogreaderproject.com/survey (Yes, same link as above. I'm thorough.)
It was a fun and comprehensive survey about what I (the survey-taker) like and what I do. As I'm sure I've said a bajillion times, I'm a compulsive self-analyzer. This poll was perfect. Detailed, but not laboriously so. Exhaustive, but not excessively (IMO) intrusive for an online questionnaire.
If you, dear reader, also wish to waste a good 10 - 20 minutes on something interesting and not too onerous, check it out! Fill it out! You might just enjoy it :~D
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
*Gag*
I know I belong to too many yahoo groups. I join a bunch, stick around for a while, then leave. It's what I do. It's why I shouldn't make "real" friends (different settings, similar behavior on my part). But I do, and now I'm being punished. I belong to a couple Weight Watchers Core groups that have been quite helpful, and I don't want to leave them. But staying with these groups has exposed me to one of the horrors of the internet: Incredimail.
This is some of THE tackiest shit I have ever seen. Chris and I have joked about decorating a guest room for unwelcome visitors in an overwhelming lighthouse theme, and now thanks to this "service", I have received multiple lighthouse-themed emails. "Cute" country mice getting into peoples' food. Peoples' names animated (or still) with penguins. Flowers. Stars. Rainbows. Stuffed bunnies. Precious Moments. Need I say more? It's like a bunch of 11-year-old girls got ahold of my computer and reprogrammed it.
Seriously, I'm glad any- and everyone can get on the internet. My WWII-era farmer-stock grandparents are online, bless them, and getting a lot done! But they're not wasting their time or mine with cutesy smarmy nauseating graphics in their emails. And honestly, I wish the rest of the world was on the same page. I feel my IQ (and the collective quotient of every group involved) dropping with every Incredipuke message. WTF motivates people to inflict this sort of thing on others?
Seriously, this must be stopped.
This is some of THE tackiest shit I have ever seen. Chris and I have joked about decorating a guest room for unwelcome visitors in an overwhelming lighthouse theme, and now thanks to this "service", I have received multiple lighthouse-themed emails. "Cute" country mice getting into peoples' food. Peoples' names animated (or still) with penguins. Flowers. Stars. Rainbows. Stuffed bunnies. Precious Moments. Need I say more? It's like a bunch of 11-year-old girls got ahold of my computer and reprogrammed it.
Seriously, I'm glad any- and everyone can get on the internet. My WWII-era farmer-stock grandparents are online, bless them, and getting a lot done! But they're not wasting their time or mine with cutesy smarmy nauseating graphics in their emails. And honestly, I wish the rest of the world was on the same page. I feel my IQ (and the collective quotient of every group involved) dropping with every Incredipuke message. WTF motivates people to inflict this sort of thing on others?
Seriously, this must be stopped.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Hey!
I know it's been ages, but procrastination is just part of who I am. Sorry!
Something has me fired up though, and in case you haven't heard about it anywhere else, allow me to bring to your attention a consumer issue near and dear to my heart: chocolate.
Chocolate manufacturers and various other food industry groups/companies, have petitioned the FDA to change the definition of "chocolate" to include cocoa powder with vegetable fats other than cocoa butter. On the surface, this seems benign. And maybe a silly thing to get worked up about. It's just chocolate, right? But there are larger implications here.
Imagine *any* ingredient on your food packaging being able to be redefined by petitioning the FDA to change what qualifies. What if your "chicken" is now "any land-dwelling avian fowl"? If "pork" becomes "any quadrupedal land-dwelling mammal weighing less than 200 pounds"? Think of the money the food manufacturers could save (and the profits they could make) broadening definitions as they see fit! And try to imagine what you might *really* be eating.
The standards for organic labeling are already being weakened. Recently, it was determined that foods can be labeled organic if they contain non-organic ingredients, so long as the company can "prove" that organic alternatives were unavailable or priced into what they deem exclusivity. So that organic veggie soup you're eating might well contain non-organic corn. And peas. And carrots. And you, as the consumer, have no way of knowing if any of the ingredients you just paid a premium for are actually what you expected your money to buy.
I'm well aware that none of this is new. The reason I'm bringing it up is that the chocolate issue *is* important to me, AND there is still time to do something about it. The FDA just extended the comment period on the chocolate petition until June 25th. So if you want to save chocolate as we know it here in the U.S., or if you want to send a message to the FDA that ingredient labeling is important and shouldn't be subject to industry wishes, or for any other reason you don't like this proposal, please go here:
dontmesswithourchocolate.com
If you click on "Register Your Comments", they have links to the FDA site as well as a letter you can copy and paste into the FDA comment section, edited to suit your viewpoint or "as is" if you're lazy like me and/or agree with the things the letter says.
To arms! To arms!
Something has me fired up though, and in case you haven't heard about it anywhere else, allow me to bring to your attention a consumer issue near and dear to my heart: chocolate.
Chocolate manufacturers and various other food industry groups/companies, have petitioned the FDA to change the definition of "chocolate" to include cocoa powder with vegetable fats other than cocoa butter. On the surface, this seems benign. And maybe a silly thing to get worked up about. It's just chocolate, right? But there are larger implications here.
Imagine *any* ingredient on your food packaging being able to be redefined by petitioning the FDA to change what qualifies. What if your "chicken" is now "any land-dwelling avian fowl"? If "pork" becomes "any quadrupedal land-dwelling mammal weighing less than 200 pounds"? Think of the money the food manufacturers could save (and the profits they could make) broadening definitions as they see fit! And try to imagine what you might *really* be eating.
The standards for organic labeling are already being weakened. Recently, it was determined that foods can be labeled organic if they contain non-organic ingredients, so long as the company can "prove" that organic alternatives were unavailable or priced into what they deem exclusivity. So that organic veggie soup you're eating might well contain non-organic corn. And peas. And carrots. And you, as the consumer, have no way of knowing if any of the ingredients you just paid a premium for are actually what you expected your money to buy.
I'm well aware that none of this is new. The reason I'm bringing it up is that the chocolate issue *is* important to me, AND there is still time to do something about it. The FDA just extended the comment period on the chocolate petition until June 25th. So if you want to save chocolate as we know it here in the U.S., or if you want to send a message to the FDA that ingredient labeling is important and shouldn't be subject to industry wishes, or for any other reason you don't like this proposal, please go here:
dontmesswithourchocolate.com
If you click on "Register Your Comments", they have links to the FDA site as well as a letter you can copy and paste into the FDA comment section, edited to suit your viewpoint or "as is" if you're lazy like me and/or agree with the things the letter says.
To arms! To arms!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Easily Amused
Something I started doing last year was collecting spam subject lines. I wish I had started sooner because I know I got some doozies in the past that are now lost forever. Some of them are so bizarre that I've been tempted to open them just to see what was inside (don't worry - I'm not that impulsive). It's easy to just click "empty" on that Junk Mail folder after you've sorted out what shouldn't have been sent there, but have you ever actually read those little messages? The ones they think will somehow trick you into opening something you really shouldn't? It's worth it, every once in a while.
My criteria aren't especially rigorous, but still there aren't too many that qualify. I don't go for the easy laughs, so all the porn and "body part enhancement" messages are out. Besides, they're really not that funny, after you've seen the same one 20 times. I used to save the ones that strung together a bunch of random religious/biblical-looking words because some of the combinations were so strange while *almost* making sense that they made me laugh. But they don't stand the test of time: re-reading them a few weeks or months later just doesn't work. So those, for the most part, are deleted immediately.
After Christmas there was a serious dearth of funny spam subjects, and I despaired that everyone reprogrammed their bots or something. But this morning I awoke to find several giggle-inducing titles, and hope was restored! I decided it was time to share the wealth.
So for those of you who are also easily amused, I present:
My Funny Spam Collection
smuggle ruffle
wopposite
gung-ho
Re: do cluster
It's not about slogans this time.
antler silence
them, money to fail: not be baldness upon your food month, Zif,
makes squishy noises when running.
in the land wherein we grope in him, I brought
Are molehill no sheriff
Or my wham
Which watchband so death
out of a naughty person, of their hooks were persuaded, that
gibe processor
Is my rhino
treacherous dahlia
Fred tried to change subjects to get Howard to do something else. [best part – the sender was "continental breakfast"]
watertight communist
impromptu pork chop
slovenly lover
my orange
And today's most shining gem:
it be semantic
My criteria aren't especially rigorous, but still there aren't too many that qualify. I don't go for the easy laughs, so all the porn and "body part enhancement" messages are out. Besides, they're really not that funny, after you've seen the same one 20 times. I used to save the ones that strung together a bunch of random religious/biblical-looking words because some of the combinations were so strange while *almost* making sense that they made me laugh. But they don't stand the test of time: re-reading them a few weeks or months later just doesn't work. So those, for the most part, are deleted immediately.
After Christmas there was a serious dearth of funny spam subjects, and I despaired that everyone reprogrammed their bots or something. But this morning I awoke to find several giggle-inducing titles, and hope was restored! I decided it was time to share the wealth.
So for those of you who are also easily amused, I present:
My Funny Spam Collection
smuggle ruffle
wopposite
gung-ho
Re: do cluster
It's not about slogans this time.
antler silence
them, money to fail: not be baldness upon your food month, Zif,
makes squishy noises when running.
in the land wherein we grope in him, I brought
Are molehill no sheriff
Or my wham
Which watchband so death
out of a naughty person, of their hooks were persuaded, that
gibe processor
Is my rhino
treacherous dahlia
Fred tried to change subjects to get Howard to do something else. [best part – the sender was "continental breakfast"]
watertight communist
impromptu pork chop
slovenly lover
my orange
And today's most shining gem:
it be semantic
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Tagged!
My fellow snark-meistress, katiedid over at Seldom Nice Nowadays tagged me for this one. I always start out these things thinking "I don't think I even have x # of what-have-yous," only to find that I have far too many in every category. So then I have to agonize about which ones get left out, and how I can explain it to them without hurting their feelings, and why I'm keeping the ones I am… So here are my over-thought answers:
FOUR jobs I have had
The two worst – each hellacious in their own way:
1) Sunroc – I spent two summers working in their bottled water cooler factory. There was no air conditioning. I had to be there at 7 am (I was a teenager in the summer!). And I'm 99% positive that I was the only female there with all her teeth. I got hit on a LOT. Also, I am ridiculously clumsy – a factory is NO place for someone like me. I banged my shins on the line and cut myself on sheet metal more times than I can recall. So to recap: numerous undesirable advances; bluejeans in 100-degree weather (safety regs); *ungodly* hours; and frequent injuries, a number of which I still bear the scars from. A real hoot.
2) MBNA – 9 months telemarketing. Need I say more?
And the two best – each lovely in its own way:
3) Fox Theater – this was the movie theater I worked at my senior year of high school. I got to see movies for free (me plus 1), got all the popcorn and soda I wanted while working, made lots of friends, and met a large number of boys. All in all, the perfect high school job!
4) DNREC – my last, and probably best job (for me) overall. I was reorganizing the paper files of large solid waste facilities into a new system that was set up before I got there. I got to work at my own pace, read all the dirt (heh. I crack myself up.) on the local landfills, learn new stuff all the time, and hide in a cubicle where I didn't have to talk to anyone. Plus, my boss and her boss were *amazing*. Also, I had that tv-movie moment where I won over the curmudgeon (who didn't want me there and griped that I would ruin the files, with reason – the gal before me was a total incompetent) with my intelligence and understanding of the files and what actually goes on with the various processes in permitting, inspections, etc. Hey. I'm not cool, but I'm pretty smart and I learn fast. And I love making people happy, and I definitely did in his case. He actually contributed to some lovely writings that earned me a commendation. Cinematic gold, I tell ya!
FOUR movies I could watch over and over
I rarely watch movies more than once – there are always others out there I haven't seen yet, and I'd rather watch something new. So I thought this category was going to be painfully difficult. And it was, but only because I wound up with more than 10 contenders, none of which I wanted to cut. The final selection:
1) Spirited Away – this movie is so magical and whimsical, with such wonderful character development (I couldn't stand Chihiro at the beginning of the movie), and such cute little anime critters… I could go on and on. It's a great fairytale/myth-type story that most children over 5 should love. Most Miyazaki films fall into that category (I really wanted to put Howl's Moving Castle on this list), but Spirited Away is the one I've watched the most, and probably love the most.
2) Galaxy Quest – this movie never fails to crack me up. Tony Shaloub is brilliant in it, and as a sci-fi geek there are countless things for me to laugh hysterically over. And it never gets old, somehow.
3) Grosse Pointe Blank – tied for first place as my favorite John Cusack movie. He's slightly less angsty and more wry/funny in this one, and the supporting cast is great. This only slightly edged out Better Off Dead because sometimes some of the jokes in that one wear thin for me. Only a few. GPB has yet to do that to me.
4) Monty Python and the Holy Grail – do I really need to explain? Didn't think so.
FOUR places I have lived apart from where I live now
I don't have 4 places. I don't know if that's sad, or proof that I'm doing the right thing…
1) Milford (Delaware)
2) Dover (Delaware)
3) Philly
FOUR TV shows that I love
This was difficult because I'm pathetically enamored of television. I love many many things on tv, and thank God for my tivo on a sadly regular basis.
1) Battlestar Galactica – as mentioned above, I am a sci-fi geek. And this is a phenomenal show, all sci-fi aside.
2) The OC – yes, I know it's nearly over, and is getting horrible ratings, and is trashy tv. But I love it. I love the trash, the silliness, and the odd family the Cohens have made for themselves. And I love that Marissa is finally gone, and with her dead weight (heh. I need to stop.) removed from Ryan's neck, he finally has a sense of humor! He was always sarcastic, but now he's intentionally funny! And happy! If only she'd died back in Mexico… I'll shut up now.
3) House – this character is my hero, and this show is my salvation in a sea of medically inept programs. I'd rather have a doctor like House any day over some touchy-feely jerk. And I love that, unlike shows like CSI, I'm not screaming at the tv from halfway through the show because characters who are supposedly experts in their fields can't figure out something simple and obvious. Like the freaking CSI where it took Grissom and the ME (a *doctor* for fox ache!) half the episode to figure out that fruity breath = diabetes. Grrr!!! I could see if maybe they had heard the description and forgotten it till later, but nooooo. They jumped right on it and pulled out their medical books looking up obscure shit for 20 minutes while I shrieked, "It's fucking diabetes you assholes!" I have never had a moment like that with House. All shows involving science and/or medicine should be required to consult with people on the level of those talking to the House people. Seriously.
And, because the genre should be represented and Katie snubbed them all…
4) Judge Judy – I love almost all the "judge shows" (as I call them), but this/she is my favorite. I really do wish she would develop her own fragrance. She could call it "Beauty Fades, But You Can Smell Nice Forever!"
FOUR places I have been on holiday
1) NYC – only for weekends, which is the only way I can tolerate it. I love the city, I just don't travel well and really don't do people or crowds or noise well, let alone all together! The shopping is divine, though, and the food is better!
2) Atlanta – if I had to live in a city, this would be the one. It doesn't feel like a city, and the food there is on par with NYC. Love the churrascarias!
3) Florida – we did Orlando for our honeymoon.
4) The Delaware beaches, more times than I can count.
FOUR websites I visit daily
1) makeupalley.com – more specifically, the fragrance board. I'm an addict, and the people rock!
2) cuteoverload.com
3) ebay
4) tvsquad.com – I said I love tv. Did you think I was kidding?
FOUR favorite foods
Unsurprisingly, none of these are healthy.
1) A *good* cannoli
2) A good caesar salad (Houston's makes my favorite)
3) My white chicken chili. I got the recipe somewhere and modified it to my tastes (not very "hot", but lots of flavor). My version has won at least one chili cookoff! And while I have made healthy versions (you'll see where easy substitutions can be made) this one is the tastiest:
Creamy White Chili
1 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into ½" cubes
1 tsp onion powder
1 ½ tsp garlic powder
1 tb vegetable oil
2 cans (15.5 oz each) great northern beans, rinsed & drained
1 can (14.5 oz) chicken broth
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika
½ tsp pepper
dash cayenne pepper
1 c sour cream
½ c whipping cream
In large saucepan, sauté chicken, onion and garlic powders in oil until chicken is no longer pink. Add beans, broth, and seasonings. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, for 30 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in sour cream and cream. Serve immediately.
4) And, last but not least, this cheese soup:
Savory Cheese Soup
4 tb butter or margarine
¼ c flour
¼ tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
½ tsp onion powder
1/8 tsp garlic powder
2 c milk
1 can (14.5 oz) chicken broth
2 c shredded cheddar
½ c shredded mozzarella
Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add flour, salt, pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder. Stir till smooth. Add milk, cook and stir over med heat till thickened and bubbly. Meanwhile, bring chicken broth to boil in a small saucepan. Add to milk mixture and stir till blended. Add cheeses; cook and stir till melted (do not boil). I omit the mozzarella if I don't have it, or I substitute asiago or parmesan in its place for an even more strongly cheesy flavor! Any blend of cheeses is delicious!
FOUR places I would rather be right now
Nowhere, really. I'm a hermit, and I love being here in my house with my husband and my critters and my computer and my tv! Most people don't get this, but I'm well past the point of caring. I'm happy just the way I am :~D
FOUR books I enjoy reading over and over again
1) Good Omens – this gets funnier every time I read it! Both authors were in fine form for this collabo!
2) Wishes – this is one of my all-time favorite romance novels. It's sweet and funny, not overwrought or sappy. Not as racy as some that I love, but it just makes me feel good when I read this one!
3) The Stand – This book only just edges out The Talisman, and I think it's mostly because King has so many more amazing characters in the former than the latter. He is a genius at creating characters that interest me and draw me in, and he's a master at killing them! Plus his imagination is nearly limitless. I think The Stand is one of his best works, and I could probably read it annually.
4) A Medicine For Melancholy and Other Stories – while this book belongs on this little list on its own merits, it is also here to represent every book of short fiction Ray Bradbury has written. Because I can reread them *all* into infinity. I think I've just read this one more because it's the only one I have a handy copy of. They're all phenomenal, though.
There are a bajillion books that deserve honorable mentions, but I'm pretty sure my yapping is starting to wear thin by now (assuming anyone has even made it this far).
FOUR CDs that never leave my regular rotation
Lateralus – all Tool albums also belong to this list, but this is my favorite (very closely followed by Aenima)
Gumby – I stole this cd from my brother years ago, and I love it. LOVE. It's funny, of course, but there's also some good music on it. And I smile whenever any of the songs pop up on my ipod.
Hair – most people know I adore this album. But I must praise it some more while I have this opportunity. The music is awesome. The sentiment is as much, if not more so. Most songs bring a smile to my face when they come on, and if I listen to the album from start to finish I cry. Every time. It moves me.
Violator – DM makes great music. Period. This is my favorite album, but runners-up include: Songs of Faith and Devotion, Music For the Masses, Black Celebration, and Some Great Reward.
FOUR people I am tagging (no pressure, guys)
kyahgirl
The Oh-So-Fine M
D
RT
FOUR jobs I have had
The two worst – each hellacious in their own way:
1) Sunroc – I spent two summers working in their bottled water cooler factory. There was no air conditioning. I had to be there at 7 am (I was a teenager in the summer!). And I'm 99% positive that I was the only female there with all her teeth. I got hit on a LOT. Also, I am ridiculously clumsy – a factory is NO place for someone like me. I banged my shins on the line and cut myself on sheet metal more times than I can recall. So to recap: numerous undesirable advances; bluejeans in 100-degree weather (safety regs); *ungodly* hours; and frequent injuries, a number of which I still bear the scars from. A real hoot.
2) MBNA – 9 months telemarketing. Need I say more?
And the two best – each lovely in its own way:
3) Fox Theater – this was the movie theater I worked at my senior year of high school. I got to see movies for free (me plus 1), got all the popcorn and soda I wanted while working, made lots of friends, and met a large number of boys. All in all, the perfect high school job!
4) DNREC – my last, and probably best job (for me) overall. I was reorganizing the paper files of large solid waste facilities into a new system that was set up before I got there. I got to work at my own pace, read all the dirt (heh. I crack myself up.) on the local landfills, learn new stuff all the time, and hide in a cubicle where I didn't have to talk to anyone. Plus, my boss and her boss were *amazing*. Also, I had that tv-movie moment where I won over the curmudgeon (who didn't want me there and griped that I would ruin the files, with reason – the gal before me was a total incompetent) with my intelligence and understanding of the files and what actually goes on with the various processes in permitting, inspections, etc. Hey. I'm not cool, but I'm pretty smart and I learn fast. And I love making people happy, and I definitely did in his case. He actually contributed to some lovely writings that earned me a commendation. Cinematic gold, I tell ya!
FOUR movies I could watch over and over
I rarely watch movies more than once – there are always others out there I haven't seen yet, and I'd rather watch something new. So I thought this category was going to be painfully difficult. And it was, but only because I wound up with more than 10 contenders, none of which I wanted to cut. The final selection:
1) Spirited Away – this movie is so magical and whimsical, with such wonderful character development (I couldn't stand Chihiro at the beginning of the movie), and such cute little anime critters… I could go on and on. It's a great fairytale/myth-type story that most children over 5 should love. Most Miyazaki films fall into that category (I really wanted to put Howl's Moving Castle on this list), but Spirited Away is the one I've watched the most, and probably love the most.
2) Galaxy Quest – this movie never fails to crack me up. Tony Shaloub is brilliant in it, and as a sci-fi geek there are countless things for me to laugh hysterically over. And it never gets old, somehow.
3) Grosse Pointe Blank – tied for first place as my favorite John Cusack movie. He's slightly less angsty and more wry/funny in this one, and the supporting cast is great. This only slightly edged out Better Off Dead because sometimes some of the jokes in that one wear thin for me. Only a few. GPB has yet to do that to me.
4) Monty Python and the Holy Grail – do I really need to explain? Didn't think so.
FOUR places I have lived apart from where I live now
I don't have 4 places. I don't know if that's sad, or proof that I'm doing the right thing…
1) Milford (Delaware)
2) Dover (Delaware)
3) Philly
FOUR TV shows that I love
This was difficult because I'm pathetically enamored of television. I love many many things on tv, and thank God for my tivo on a sadly regular basis.
1) Battlestar Galactica – as mentioned above, I am a sci-fi geek. And this is a phenomenal show, all sci-fi aside.
2) The OC – yes, I know it's nearly over, and is getting horrible ratings, and is trashy tv. But I love it. I love the trash, the silliness, and the odd family the Cohens have made for themselves. And I love that Marissa is finally gone, and with her dead weight (heh. I need to stop.) removed from Ryan's neck, he finally has a sense of humor! He was always sarcastic, but now he's intentionally funny! And happy! If only she'd died back in Mexico… I'll shut up now.
3) House – this character is my hero, and this show is my salvation in a sea of medically inept programs. I'd rather have a doctor like House any day over some touchy-feely jerk. And I love that, unlike shows like CSI, I'm not screaming at the tv from halfway through the show because characters who are supposedly experts in their fields can't figure out something simple and obvious. Like the freaking CSI where it took Grissom and the ME (a *doctor* for fox ache!) half the episode to figure out that fruity breath = diabetes. Grrr!!! I could see if maybe they had heard the description and forgotten it till later, but nooooo. They jumped right on it and pulled out their medical books looking up obscure shit for 20 minutes while I shrieked, "It's fucking diabetes you assholes!" I have never had a moment like that with House. All shows involving science and/or medicine should be required to consult with people on the level of those talking to the House people. Seriously.
And, because the genre should be represented and Katie snubbed them all…
4) Judge Judy – I love almost all the "judge shows" (as I call them), but this/she is my favorite. I really do wish she would develop her own fragrance. She could call it "Beauty Fades, But You Can Smell Nice Forever!"
FOUR places I have been on holiday
1) NYC – only for weekends, which is the only way I can tolerate it. I love the city, I just don't travel well and really don't do people or crowds or noise well, let alone all together! The shopping is divine, though, and the food is better!
2) Atlanta – if I had to live in a city, this would be the one. It doesn't feel like a city, and the food there is on par with NYC. Love the churrascarias!
3) Florida – we did Orlando for our honeymoon.
4) The Delaware beaches, more times than I can count.
FOUR websites I visit daily
1) makeupalley.com – more specifically, the fragrance board. I'm an addict, and the people rock!
2) cuteoverload.com
3) ebay
4) tvsquad.com – I said I love tv. Did you think I was kidding?
FOUR favorite foods
Unsurprisingly, none of these are healthy.
1) A *good* cannoli
2) A good caesar salad (Houston's makes my favorite)
3) My white chicken chili. I got the recipe somewhere and modified it to my tastes (not very "hot", but lots of flavor). My version has won at least one chili cookoff! And while I have made healthy versions (you'll see where easy substitutions can be made) this one is the tastiest:
Creamy White Chili
1 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into ½" cubes
1 tsp onion powder
1 ½ tsp garlic powder
1 tb vegetable oil
2 cans (15.5 oz each) great northern beans, rinsed & drained
1 can (14.5 oz) chicken broth
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika
½ tsp pepper
dash cayenne pepper
1 c sour cream
½ c whipping cream
In large saucepan, sauté chicken, onion and garlic powders in oil until chicken is no longer pink. Add beans, broth, and seasonings. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, for 30 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in sour cream and cream. Serve immediately.
4) And, last but not least, this cheese soup:
Savory Cheese Soup
4 tb butter or margarine
¼ c flour
¼ tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
½ tsp onion powder
1/8 tsp garlic powder
2 c milk
1 can (14.5 oz) chicken broth
2 c shredded cheddar
½ c shredded mozzarella
Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add flour, salt, pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder. Stir till smooth. Add milk, cook and stir over med heat till thickened and bubbly. Meanwhile, bring chicken broth to boil in a small saucepan. Add to milk mixture and stir till blended. Add cheeses; cook and stir till melted (do not boil). I omit the mozzarella if I don't have it, or I substitute asiago or parmesan in its place for an even more strongly cheesy flavor! Any blend of cheeses is delicious!
FOUR places I would rather be right now
Nowhere, really. I'm a hermit, and I love being here in my house with my husband and my critters and my computer and my tv! Most people don't get this, but I'm well past the point of caring. I'm happy just the way I am :~D
FOUR books I enjoy reading over and over again
1) Good Omens – this gets funnier every time I read it! Both authors were in fine form for this collabo!
2) Wishes – this is one of my all-time favorite romance novels. It's sweet and funny, not overwrought or sappy. Not as racy as some that I love, but it just makes me feel good when I read this one!
3) The Stand – This book only just edges out The Talisman, and I think it's mostly because King has so many more amazing characters in the former than the latter. He is a genius at creating characters that interest me and draw me in, and he's a master at killing them! Plus his imagination is nearly limitless. I think The Stand is one of his best works, and I could probably read it annually.
4) A Medicine For Melancholy and Other Stories – while this book belongs on this little list on its own merits, it is also here to represent every book of short fiction Ray Bradbury has written. Because I can reread them *all* into infinity. I think I've just read this one more because it's the only one I have a handy copy of. They're all phenomenal, though.
There are a bajillion books that deserve honorable mentions, but I'm pretty sure my yapping is starting to wear thin by now (assuming anyone has even made it this far).
FOUR CDs that never leave my regular rotation
Lateralus – all Tool albums also belong to this list, but this is my favorite (very closely followed by Aenima)
Gumby – I stole this cd from my brother years ago, and I love it. LOVE. It's funny, of course, but there's also some good music on it. And I smile whenever any of the songs pop up on my ipod.
Hair – most people know I adore this album. But I must praise it some more while I have this opportunity. The music is awesome. The sentiment is as much, if not more so. Most songs bring a smile to my face when they come on, and if I listen to the album from start to finish I cry. Every time. It moves me.
Violator – DM makes great music. Period. This is my favorite album, but runners-up include: Songs of Faith and Devotion, Music For the Masses, Black Celebration, and Some Great Reward.
FOUR people I am tagging (no pressure, guys)
kyahgirl
The Oh-So-Fine M
D
RT
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Form letters
I know people are busy. Especially this time of year. But there should be some point where the mindless envelope-stuffing should end and human oversight kick in.
I just opened two separate letters from the veterinary center where Muzzy and Harley were put to sleep. Each contained a paper ornament (for us to label/decorate) and a letter inviting us to the tree-lighting ceremony they will be having, remembering the pets who passed on in 2006. Each was addressed exactly the same way. Each said exactly the same thing, except that the name of the pet was different. Each was signed by the same person. So NO ONE thought to check, at any point in the chain of command/custody, to see if multiple pets passed away for one owner? This isn't the biggest clinic in the land, by any stretch. And even if it was, that's no excuse.
Any good feelings I might have had regarding their desire/willingness to acknowledge and commemorate the animals who left us this year were totally obliterated by having to deal with the double gut-punch they dealt me by not taking the freaking time to manage their mail better. It was bad enough getting the one for Harley, but minutes (and several pieces of mail) later having to deal with it again for Muzzy? Lots of people have multiple pets, and it is hardly rare that they lose more than one in the same year. Why even bother doing something like this, if they (the clinic) can't take the time to consider this issue? It's not right. It's not right. It's not right.
They should know and do better.
I just opened two separate letters from the veterinary center where Muzzy and Harley were put to sleep. Each contained a paper ornament (for us to label/decorate) and a letter inviting us to the tree-lighting ceremony they will be having, remembering the pets who passed on in 2006. Each was addressed exactly the same way. Each said exactly the same thing, except that the name of the pet was different. Each was signed by the same person. So NO ONE thought to check, at any point in the chain of command/custody, to see if multiple pets passed away for one owner? This isn't the biggest clinic in the land, by any stretch. And even if it was, that's no excuse.
Any good feelings I might have had regarding their desire/willingness to acknowledge and commemorate the animals who left us this year were totally obliterated by having to deal with the double gut-punch they dealt me by not taking the freaking time to manage their mail better. It was bad enough getting the one for Harley, but minutes (and several pieces of mail) later having to deal with it again for Muzzy? Lots of people have multiple pets, and it is hardly rare that they lose more than one in the same year. Why even bother doing something like this, if they (the clinic) can't take the time to consider this issue? It's not right. It's not right. It's not right.
They should know and do better.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Former Glory
There it is. My hair. Well, 12 inches of it anyway. Soon to be mailed off to Locks of Love, hopefully to make someone else very happy.And - shock of shocks - I *love* my new haircut! It's a chin-length bob, nice and swingy and slightly longer in the front - just enough for a ponytail. It was cute the day I got it when the hairdresser blew it out, but when I washed it and let it air-dry (my usual "style") yesterday, it actually looked even better!
I'm kicking myself because years ago, when my hair was its current length, it looked terrible. I mean terrible! I used a blow-dryer, curling irons, hair gel, hair spray, mousse, and anything else I could think of to get it to do what I wanted. And it never did. Who freaking knew that if I would have just washed it and left it alone, it would have been perfect???
So, to my hair: I apologize for bad-mouthing you all these years. To everyone else: go crazy and let your hair do what it wants for a day - you might be pleasantly surprised!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Halle-freaking-lujah!
Apparently I missed it, but ol' Dubya actually did something right. On October 6th, he signed into law the PETS Act, which will (hopefully) help prevent animal-related tragedies like we saw in the aftermath of a certain unfortunately-named hurricane. A good summary of the act can be found here:
http://tinyurl.com/ylk3kv (HSUS link)
Not that I thought there was any danger of him *not* signing it (Lord knows he's not famous for his vetoes), but having it done is a huge relief for me. I'll be the first to admit that I am way too emotionally affected by things beyond my control, and what I saw last year (the few times I got caught up and didn't change the channel in time) really did a number on me.
Anyone who knows me knows that I feel a great deal of responsibility towards the animals who live with me. Granted, there is also insane love and almost slavelike devotion to them, but responsibility is key. They did not choose a life of captivity, and they did not choose a life with me. I choose (I truly see every day as a choice, hence the present tense) both of these things for them, and thereby force them into a life of utter dependence on me. This is a fact. And the same is true for anyone who keeps a pet, whether they want to look at it this way or not. Regardless, the upshot is that in doing so, we take on the responsibility to ensure that they are healthy and safe and happy.
Where I'm going with all that is this: the PETS Act - while wonderful and (in my opinion) necessary - is not enough. I beg of anyone reading who has an animal dependent to be sure that you have an emergency plan in place for him or her. They cannot fend for themselves after a life of captivity, and in the event of an emergency they cannot free themselves from their cages/crates and/or your house. You can google (or whatever search engine you prefer) to find lots of help - the term "pets emergency" works beautifully. If you don't feel like searching, here's a decent link:
http://www.aspca.org/site/PageServer?pagename=pets_emergency
Even if you don't have an emergency plan for yourself, please put one together for your critters. I'm asking because they can't.
http://tinyurl.com/ylk3kv (HSUS link)
Not that I thought there was any danger of him *not* signing it (Lord knows he's not famous for his vetoes), but having it done is a huge relief for me. I'll be the first to admit that I am way too emotionally affected by things beyond my control, and what I saw last year (the few times I got caught up and didn't change the channel in time) really did a number on me.
Anyone who knows me knows that I feel a great deal of responsibility towards the animals who live with me. Granted, there is also insane love and almost slavelike devotion to them, but responsibility is key. They did not choose a life of captivity, and they did not choose a life with me. I choose (I truly see every day as a choice, hence the present tense) both of these things for them, and thereby force them into a life of utter dependence on me. This is a fact. And the same is true for anyone who keeps a pet, whether they want to look at it this way or not. Regardless, the upshot is that in doing so, we take on the responsibility to ensure that they are healthy and safe and happy.
Where I'm going with all that is this: the PETS Act - while wonderful and (in my opinion) necessary - is not enough. I beg of anyone reading who has an animal dependent to be sure that you have an emergency plan in place for him or her. They cannot fend for themselves after a life of captivity, and in the event of an emergency they cannot free themselves from their cages/crates and/or your house. You can google (or whatever search engine you prefer) to find lots of help - the term "pets emergency" works beautifully. If you don't feel like searching, here's a decent link:
http://www.aspca.org/site/PageServer?pagename=pets_emergency
Even if you don't have an emergency plan for yourself, please put one together for your critters. I'm asking because they can't.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
About time?
I don't wish people dead. Really. But anyone who has spent much time talking with me probably won't be surprised at my stance here.
Steve Irwin is dead. My heart goes out to his children. I feel sympathy for his wife. But I am not sorry that he is gone. Especially considering the manner/circumstances in which he purportedly passed.
I have maintained for years now that this man lacked the fundamental respect necessary for relating to animals. Wild animals, in particular. He may have loved animals (I'm not sure one way or another on that). Certainly he educated people about them, and developed some good methods for dealing with them in captivity. But I have been predicting (hoping? such an awful thing to consider, but probably true if I'm honest with myself) that his lack of respect for animals in their own habitat would get him killed, and apparently that it the case.
Anyone who has watched any show of his on tv is familiar with his exclamation of, "Crikey!" But many people ignored or didn't consider the way he treated the wild animals his show often featured. Don't get me wrong - I am all for relocating animals (such as the crocs he often dealt with) rather than killing or capturing them. But plunging into the brush, grabbing unsuspecting denizens, pulling them away from home and family, and putting them on camera unwilling and unprepared? Disgraceful. Deplorable. Despicable. No living individual deserves that kind of treatment. And he did it on a regular basis. And there is no forgetting the infamous baby incident. If such shenanigans don't demonstrate a basic lack of respect for the other (non-human) animal involved in the scenario, I don't know what does.
I always thought it would be a snake or croc or poisonous insect that did him in, but I was obviously mistaken. All the standby medical assistance and antivenom caches in the world won't guard against a stingray barb to the chest.
The lesson here: all our human abilities to plan and prepare and reason are not enough to protect us from the world. Nothing is. And fucking with the other inhabitants of said world, even in the name of education and science, is a stupid undertaking if you don't properly respect their sovereign rights as individuals that may or may not act in predictable ways.
Goodbye, Steve. May your passing be a lesson to the current bunch of imitators you have spawned on Animal Planet and God knows where else.
Steve Irwin is dead. My heart goes out to his children. I feel sympathy for his wife. But I am not sorry that he is gone. Especially considering the manner/circumstances in which he purportedly passed.
I have maintained for years now that this man lacked the fundamental respect necessary for relating to animals. Wild animals, in particular. He may have loved animals (I'm not sure one way or another on that). Certainly he educated people about them, and developed some good methods for dealing with them in captivity. But I have been predicting (hoping? such an awful thing to consider, but probably true if I'm honest with myself) that his lack of respect for animals in their own habitat would get him killed, and apparently that it the case.
Anyone who has watched any show of his on tv is familiar with his exclamation of, "Crikey!" But many people ignored or didn't consider the way he treated the wild animals his show often featured. Don't get me wrong - I am all for relocating animals (such as the crocs he often dealt with) rather than killing or capturing them. But plunging into the brush, grabbing unsuspecting denizens, pulling them away from home and family, and putting them on camera unwilling and unprepared? Disgraceful. Deplorable. Despicable. No living individual deserves that kind of treatment. And he did it on a regular basis. And there is no forgetting the infamous baby incident. If such shenanigans don't demonstrate a basic lack of respect for the other (non-human) animal involved in the scenario, I don't know what does.
I always thought it would be a snake or croc or poisonous insect that did him in, but I was obviously mistaken. All the standby medical assistance and antivenom caches in the world won't guard against a stingray barb to the chest.
The lesson here: all our human abilities to plan and prepare and reason are not enough to protect us from the world. Nothing is. And fucking with the other inhabitants of said world, even in the name of education and science, is a stupid undertaking if you don't properly respect their sovereign rights as individuals that may or may not act in predictable ways.
Goodbye, Steve. May your passing be a lesson to the current bunch of imitators you have spawned on Animal Planet and God knows where else.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Gone
I've avoided my blog for almost 2 months now, not wanting to post but knowing I had to. On the 1st of July, we had to have Harley and Muzzy put to sleep, and I'm still torn up. I feel like pieces of myself have been torn out. The holes are starting to heal, but they're still somewhat raw and tender, and I feel them every day.
I've lost other pets before (cats, and another ferret a few years ago) and I can attest to the fact that it hurts the same, if not worse. Ferrets have as much personality and spirit as any cat or dog, but we don't get to have them in our lives as long. It's a cruel thing, really, and we had already decided when we lost Tetsuo (their brother) that we wouldn't get any more because it hurts so much to lose them, but remembering that pain hasn't helped with this. I don't think it ever does.
Harley was our first "official" pet as a couple, and he was one of the coolest animals I've ever known. We called him The Anti-Ferret because he was very calm and cuddly, which most fuzzies are not. He was the Alpha male, and made sure the rest of them knew it, even in his last months with us. He liked to just hang out, and loved to have a beer with his people pals. And if you've never seen a tipsy ferret, you don't know what you're missing!
Muzzy was our little princess – we didn't mean or intend to ever get any female ferrets, but I fell in love with her and had to have her. I didn't check her sex when I got her, and we actually didn't notice for a few weeks that she wasn't a boy! We were both smitten, and it didn't occur to us to look. She was feisty from the start (hence her name – I named her after a monster in a Spanish language video I saw in high school), but so small and pretty.
Harley hadn't been well for months. We knew that it was time to let him go, but we were putting it off. Hoping he would have some more good days and at least be ok till Chris isn't traveling so much. But he'd been steadily declining, and hadn't had a good day in longer than we could remember. Or maybe we were hoping deep down he would decide on his own that it was time to leave. Stupid, if that was the case – although he was sweet and cuddly in ways most ferrets are not, his tenacity was classic ferret. He always was a fighter, and lived (in good health) more than a year longer than the vet predicted several years before, when he had several tumors and an adrenal gland removed. Muzzy had been having problems with her hind legs that we attributed to arthritis, though in hindsight I can see that it may well have been the beginnings of insulinoma, but she seemed to be in good spirits and not experiencing anything too serious.
When we went to let them out that afternoon, Muzzy was having violent prolonged seizures that wouldn't stop. We knew from dealing with Harley that it was insulinoma, so we got sugar-water and food into her, but it didn't do any good. Harley was in bad shape too – he had made even more of a mess in his cage than usual, and he was covered in poop and could barely move. So we took them to the vet.
Muzzy did have insulinoma and her blood sugar was 30, which is very bad (ferrets should have levels like people: <100, but not by that much). They couldn't get her seizures to stop either, even with more oral sugar (and we had given her a LOT) and rectal valium. They said they could try keeping her overnight on IV dextrose, but with her blood sugar being so low and having been seizing for so long, I knew there was no way she hadn't suffered brain damage, and (of course) they couldn't guarantee that doing that would do any good.
Chris and I already had an idea what we would have to do, from Muzzy's lack of response to what we did for her at home. And we already knew it wasn't fair or right for us to keep Harley with us like we were. So we decided to send them over the rainbow bridge together, and we sat with them while the vet did it. It was the worst, hardest decision we've ever had to make. Obviously, I don't know exactly how a parent feels, but it felt like we were losing our children. Harley was our first baby, and Muzzy was our first little girl. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my brain around it.
I've never had to put one of my pets to sleep before, and it's just awful. Everyone always says it's the best and kindest thing to do, and I know in my head that it is, but I always assumed that it would feel like the right thing to do, too. And it doesn't. Especially not in the moment, and for the first few weeks afterwards. I felt like I had killed my babies, that there must have been some other option I just didn't see or consider. The whole time we were in the vet's office, I just wanted to snatch them up and run back out to the car with them and drive away, and even now a small part of me wishes I had. But I know that doing so wouldn't have helped them, they still would have been sick and suffering. I know it's all my own selfishness, wanting them back, but I felt like I had done something terrible (and a small part of me still does), and I wasn't prepared for that.
I don't know if I'm overly sensitive, or if people just don't talk about these things even in this day and age, when most of us recognize the importance of our non-human companions in our lives, but this hit me hard. I'm still somewhat in withdrawal mode, saving most of my emotional energy for my family. And I have to say that my family has really been helpful with this. Having my niece and nephew local, in particular, has been a blessing. I can't not be happy around those two! But every time I let the ferrets out, I feel that loss. The other ferrets did too, at first. Maybe they still do. It makes me sad to see Kaneda moving into the Alpha position, acting like he's in charge, though I'm happy he's in such good health and spirits.
Ok, I don't really know how to end this. I wish I had some nice summary or something, but I don't. I just needed to share this, share them, so I could stop beating myself up for putting them off. Thanks for reading.
Love,Trina
I've lost other pets before (cats, and another ferret a few years ago) and I can attest to the fact that it hurts the same, if not worse. Ferrets have as much personality and spirit as any cat or dog, but we don't get to have them in our lives as long. It's a cruel thing, really, and we had already decided when we lost Tetsuo (their brother) that we wouldn't get any more because it hurts so much to lose them, but remembering that pain hasn't helped with this. I don't think it ever does.
Harley was our first "official" pet as a couple, and he was one of the coolest animals I've ever known. We called him The Anti-Ferret because he was very calm and cuddly, which most fuzzies are not. He was the Alpha male, and made sure the rest of them knew it, even in his last months with us. He liked to just hang out, and loved to have a beer with his people pals. And if you've never seen a tipsy ferret, you don't know what you're missing!
Muzzy was our little princess – we didn't mean or intend to ever get any female ferrets, but I fell in love with her and had to have her. I didn't check her sex when I got her, and we actually didn't notice for a few weeks that she wasn't a boy! We were both smitten, and it didn't occur to us to look. She was feisty from the start (hence her name – I named her after a monster in a Spanish language video I saw in high school), but so small and pretty.
Harley hadn't been well for months. We knew that it was time to let him go, but we were putting it off. Hoping he would have some more good days and at least be ok till Chris isn't traveling so much. But he'd been steadily declining, and hadn't had a good day in longer than we could remember. Or maybe we were hoping deep down he would decide on his own that it was time to leave. Stupid, if that was the case – although he was sweet and cuddly in ways most ferrets are not, his tenacity was classic ferret. He always was a fighter, and lived (in good health) more than a year longer than the vet predicted several years before, when he had several tumors and an adrenal gland removed. Muzzy had been having problems with her hind legs that we attributed to arthritis, though in hindsight I can see that it may well have been the beginnings of insulinoma, but she seemed to be in good spirits and not experiencing anything too serious.
When we went to let them out that afternoon, Muzzy was having violent prolonged seizures that wouldn't stop. We knew from dealing with Harley that it was insulinoma, so we got sugar-water and food into her, but it didn't do any good. Harley was in bad shape too – he had made even more of a mess in his cage than usual, and he was covered in poop and could barely move. So we took them to the vet.
Muzzy did have insulinoma and her blood sugar was 30, which is very bad (ferrets should have levels like people: <100, but not by that much). They couldn't get her seizures to stop either, even with more oral sugar (and we had given her a LOT) and rectal valium. They said they could try keeping her overnight on IV dextrose, but with her blood sugar being so low and having been seizing for so long, I knew there was no way she hadn't suffered brain damage, and (of course) they couldn't guarantee that doing that would do any good.
Chris and I already had an idea what we would have to do, from Muzzy's lack of response to what we did for her at home. And we already knew it wasn't fair or right for us to keep Harley with us like we were. So we decided to send them over the rainbow bridge together, and we sat with them while the vet did it. It was the worst, hardest decision we've ever had to make. Obviously, I don't know exactly how a parent feels, but it felt like we were losing our children. Harley was our first baby, and Muzzy was our first little girl. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my brain around it.
I've never had to put one of my pets to sleep before, and it's just awful. Everyone always says it's the best and kindest thing to do, and I know in my head that it is, but I always assumed that it would feel like the right thing to do, too. And it doesn't. Especially not in the moment, and for the first few weeks afterwards. I felt like I had killed my babies, that there must have been some other option I just didn't see or consider. The whole time we were in the vet's office, I just wanted to snatch them up and run back out to the car with them and drive away, and even now a small part of me wishes I had. But I know that doing so wouldn't have helped them, they still would have been sick and suffering. I know it's all my own selfishness, wanting them back, but I felt like I had done something terrible (and a small part of me still does), and I wasn't prepared for that.
I don't know if I'm overly sensitive, or if people just don't talk about these things even in this day and age, when most of us recognize the importance of our non-human companions in our lives, but this hit me hard. I'm still somewhat in withdrawal mode, saving most of my emotional energy for my family. And I have to say that my family has really been helpful with this. Having my niece and nephew local, in particular, has been a blessing. I can't not be happy around those two! But every time I let the ferrets out, I feel that loss. The other ferrets did too, at first. Maybe they still do. It makes me sad to see Kaneda moving into the Alpha position, acting like he's in charge, though I'm happy he's in such good health and spirits.
Ok, I don't really know how to end this. I wish I had some nice summary or something, but I don't. I just needed to share this, share them, so I could stop beating myself up for putting them off. Thanks for reading.
Love,Trina
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Not tagged, but running anyway!
So. My favorite online perv posted this list of 20 questions (which she had been tagged with) and invited others to snag it and answer them too. And since I've been woefully lazy about my blog, I figure this is as close to a sign as I'm gonna get that I need to get off my virtual ass and get to blogging. The questions, and my answers:
1) Do you remember playing 45s?
Yes – those Disney read-along records that came with a little book! "You will know that it's time to turn the page when you hear Tinkerbell ring her chime, like this: d-dl-i-ding!" My favorite was a record for the cartoon version of Lord of the Rings – I hated Gollum, so I played the clip of him falling into Mount Doom over and over again. I thought it was hilarious, and fitting – he deserved it! This was, of course, before I grew up and read the books and gained a little empathy for him. I still think he deserved it, though.
2) What is the worst band you ever liked?
I'm gonna have to say Milli Vanilli, since they barely even qualified as a band. Worse, I saw them at the Delaware State Fair.
3) Have you ever done the macarena?
No. I'm not coordinated enough. I can *barely* manage the Electric Slide.
4) Are there books/magazines are currently in your bathroom? (if yes, what?)
No.
5) Have you ever done one of those embarrassing group dances at weddings?
Certainly! I refused to have any at my own wedding, but I've participated in Chicken Dances in the past.
6) Coffee or tea?
Yes! With a LOT of sugar in them.
7) Whip or no whip?
Whipped cream? Never. I hate the stuff. And if you've ever considered using it for "adult play", ask Ruthie for her Whipped Cream Lecture. As for "other" interpretations, I'm not into pain and neither is Chris (as far as I know…)
8) Did you ever have an imaginary friend and if so, what was he/she/it named?
No, but my sister and I invented a ghost named George who we said haunted the closet in the bedroom we shared in the farmhouse we lived in when we were very little. I don't even remember where the notion came from. Maybe he was real and we just thought we made him up?
9) Do you know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver?
Yes. My sister and I practice it regularly, often without warning. Of course, we also play such games as Full Contact Walking and Full Contact Chair Sitting.
10) Do you still celebrate your birthday? A day all about me?
Hell yes! It helps being a Valentine baby (and female), of course – the day itself calls for demanding and self-indulgence.
11) Do you or have you ever cross dressed? (women in overalls and men in kilts don’t count)
This is a kinda tricky question for me. I see cross-dressing as dressing *as* the opposite sex, which I have never done. But many of my sweaters are mens' sweaters because for some reason clothing manufacturers want women to wear hideous colors like pastels, and reserve the good colors (jewel- and autumn-toned greens, reds, blues, and browns) for men. Also, I have broad shoulders for a chick, so said sweaters often fit me better anyway. And when I'm at the weight I prefer, my hips are still broad enough and of a certain shape where mens' pants look better on me than those supposedly designed for women. So I own many clothes intended for men (which some might perceive as cross-dressing), but I don't wear them to look like a man.
*Side note*: my brother and his son wore kilts to my sister's wedding in Vegas a few weeks ago. No particular reason why or anything. My brother just likes kilts, I guess. And Liam was beyond adorable in his! Strangers left and right were coo-ing and going gaga over him in his little black watch plaid kilt.
12) What is the worst food you ever ate?
Oh God, this was recent – tofu shirataki noodles! I love tofu, and I love noodles, and I heard good things about these so I bought some. I should have known there would be a problem when I read the instructions that had me rinse and boil them a bit to dispel their "natural odor" (which was pure icky fish). Then I tried to pull one out to try it before putting the sauce on them, and it stre-e-e-e-tched like a worm does when a robin tries to pull it from the ground. Failed warning from the Universe #2. I was even more nervous at this point, but determined to give them a fair shake. So I put it in my mouth and chewed and gave it an open-palate-and-nose taste and nearly vomited. Literally, and totally involuntarily. The taste was an almost indescribable fishy awfulness that I can't fathom NOT making people want to hurl, and it was freakishly *chewy*. Like I imagine uncooked brains would be chewy. I spat it out and rinsed my mouth out, and ran into the living room and sat shuddering on the sofa. I eventually gathered the courage to go back and dump the remainder down the drain – I have no idea how the garbage disposal managed them, but it did. I'm still pissed at those damn noodles, because I *really* wanted to like them!
13) How old were you when you had your first real kiss?
Thirteen, a goodbye kiss at the beach with a boy named Randy I had just met a day or two before.
14) Have you had your 15 minutes of fame?
No, and I hope I never do! Hermits are exempt from this, right?
15) What is the longest you ever went without sleep for?
More than 24 hours, less than 72. I can't remember a specific occasion, but I pulled a number of these in college.
16) If your hair could be any color, what would it be?
I like it exactly how it is, colored just like a penny. Usually brown, but out in the sun it shines copper and almost gold sometimes.
17) What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
I refuse to choose just one, since mood is all. Especially with ice cream! My top 3 are Breyers Coffee, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip, and Dove Unconditional Chocolate.
18) Wax, bleach, pluck, or shave?
Pluck and shave. Someday I hope to add "laser" to this list.
19) If you were a super hero, what would your power be?
Telepathy. I don't trust people, and being able to read their minds would make everything easier for me! Besides – a superhero who can prevent the villains from ever striking is better than one who cleans up their messes, right?
20) What is your favorite smell?
Seriously – who writes these things? And how am I supposed to choose just one? Again, I refuse. I'll generalize and say that I love the smell of good foods cooking (spaghetti sauce and bread come to mind). Also baby anythings – baby humans smell wonderful, as do baby cats, dogs, ferrets, squirrels, and birds. I'm sure it's an evolutionary thing. There are the amazing smells in nature – the ocean, the forest, night breezes, grass and other vegetation when one lies face-down in them, the scent on the wind bringing a thunderstorm, the smell of impending snow, that first crisp autumn night… The smell of a pet who has grown up and grown old in your presence. I still remember the smells of my cat Cleo, who was with me from age 7 to adulthood. The unique individual smells of loved ones. Maybe my obsession with scent is a side-effect of my terrible eyesight, but smell is as important to me as any other sense. Can anyone choose their one favorite "thing to look at"? I doubt it :~P
If you're reading this and like the questions, then go ahead and tag yourself!
1) Do you remember playing 45s?
Yes – those Disney read-along records that came with a little book! "You will know that it's time to turn the page when you hear Tinkerbell ring her chime, like this: d-dl-i-ding!" My favorite was a record for the cartoon version of Lord of the Rings – I hated Gollum, so I played the clip of him falling into Mount Doom over and over again. I thought it was hilarious, and fitting – he deserved it! This was, of course, before I grew up and read the books and gained a little empathy for him. I still think he deserved it, though.
2) What is the worst band you ever liked?
I'm gonna have to say Milli Vanilli, since they barely even qualified as a band. Worse, I saw them at the Delaware State Fair.
3) Have you ever done the macarena?
No. I'm not coordinated enough. I can *barely* manage the Electric Slide.
4) Are there books/magazines are currently in your bathroom? (if yes, what?)
No.
5) Have you ever done one of those embarrassing group dances at weddings?
Certainly! I refused to have any at my own wedding, but I've participated in Chicken Dances in the past.
6) Coffee or tea?
Yes! With a LOT of sugar in them.
7) Whip or no whip?
Whipped cream? Never. I hate the stuff. And if you've ever considered using it for "adult play", ask Ruthie for her Whipped Cream Lecture. As for "other" interpretations, I'm not into pain and neither is Chris (as far as I know…)
8) Did you ever have an imaginary friend and if so, what was he/she/it named?
No, but my sister and I invented a ghost named George who we said haunted the closet in the bedroom we shared in the farmhouse we lived in when we were very little. I don't even remember where the notion came from. Maybe he was real and we just thought we made him up?
9) Do you know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver?
Yes. My sister and I practice it regularly, often without warning. Of course, we also play such games as Full Contact Walking and Full Contact Chair Sitting.
10) Do you still celebrate your birthday? A day all about me?
Hell yes! It helps being a Valentine baby (and female), of course – the day itself calls for demanding and self-indulgence.
11) Do you or have you ever cross dressed? (women in overalls and men in kilts don’t count)
This is a kinda tricky question for me. I see cross-dressing as dressing *as* the opposite sex, which I have never done. But many of my sweaters are mens' sweaters because for some reason clothing manufacturers want women to wear hideous colors like pastels, and reserve the good colors (jewel- and autumn-toned greens, reds, blues, and browns) for men. Also, I have broad shoulders for a chick, so said sweaters often fit me better anyway. And when I'm at the weight I prefer, my hips are still broad enough and of a certain shape where mens' pants look better on me than those supposedly designed for women. So I own many clothes intended for men (which some might perceive as cross-dressing), but I don't wear them to look like a man.
*Side note*: my brother and his son wore kilts to my sister's wedding in Vegas a few weeks ago. No particular reason why or anything. My brother just likes kilts, I guess. And Liam was beyond adorable in his! Strangers left and right were coo-ing and going gaga over him in his little black watch plaid kilt.
12) What is the worst food you ever ate?
Oh God, this was recent – tofu shirataki noodles! I love tofu, and I love noodles, and I heard good things about these so I bought some. I should have known there would be a problem when I read the instructions that had me rinse and boil them a bit to dispel their "natural odor" (which was pure icky fish). Then I tried to pull one out to try it before putting the sauce on them, and it stre-e-e-e-tched like a worm does when a robin tries to pull it from the ground. Failed warning from the Universe #2. I was even more nervous at this point, but determined to give them a fair shake. So I put it in my mouth and chewed and gave it an open-palate-and-nose taste and nearly vomited. Literally, and totally involuntarily. The taste was an almost indescribable fishy awfulness that I can't fathom NOT making people want to hurl, and it was freakishly *chewy*. Like I imagine uncooked brains would be chewy. I spat it out and rinsed my mouth out, and ran into the living room and sat shuddering on the sofa. I eventually gathered the courage to go back and dump the remainder down the drain – I have no idea how the garbage disposal managed them, but it did. I'm still pissed at those damn noodles, because I *really* wanted to like them!
13) How old were you when you had your first real kiss?
Thirteen, a goodbye kiss at the beach with a boy named Randy I had just met a day or two before.
14) Have you had your 15 minutes of fame?
No, and I hope I never do! Hermits are exempt from this, right?
15) What is the longest you ever went without sleep for?
More than 24 hours, less than 72. I can't remember a specific occasion, but I pulled a number of these in college.
16) If your hair could be any color, what would it be?
I like it exactly how it is, colored just like a penny. Usually brown, but out in the sun it shines copper and almost gold sometimes.
17) What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
I refuse to choose just one, since mood is all. Especially with ice cream! My top 3 are Breyers Coffee, Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip, and Dove Unconditional Chocolate.
18) Wax, bleach, pluck, or shave?
Pluck and shave. Someday I hope to add "laser" to this list.
19) If you were a super hero, what would your power be?
Telepathy. I don't trust people, and being able to read their minds would make everything easier for me! Besides – a superhero who can prevent the villains from ever striking is better than one who cleans up their messes, right?
20) What is your favorite smell?
Seriously – who writes these things? And how am I supposed to choose just one? Again, I refuse. I'll generalize and say that I love the smell of good foods cooking (spaghetti sauce and bread come to mind). Also baby anythings – baby humans smell wonderful, as do baby cats, dogs, ferrets, squirrels, and birds. I'm sure it's an evolutionary thing. There are the amazing smells in nature – the ocean, the forest, night breezes, grass and other vegetation when one lies face-down in them, the scent on the wind bringing a thunderstorm, the smell of impending snow, that first crisp autumn night… The smell of a pet who has grown up and grown old in your presence. I still remember the smells of my cat Cleo, who was with me from age 7 to adulthood. The unique individual smells of loved ones. Maybe my obsession with scent is a side-effect of my terrible eyesight, but smell is as important to me as any other sense. Can anyone choose their one favorite "thing to look at"? I doubt it :~P
If you're reading this and like the questions, then go ahead and tag yourself!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Removing myself
So a little while back I joined a yahoo group (yes, I do this ALL the time - not sure why but I seem to love joining yahoo groups) for INTJs. I was interested in seeing what my fellow Masterminds were up to, what they liked thinking about and discussing, since I know very few INTJs. In fact, the only other ones I've ever met are fellow frag board members. Wonder what Kiersey would have to say about perfume addiction...
Anyway, I joined a while ago, and just recently decided to change my messages to "individual emails" to see what was up. I even participated in a number of discussions. I love to argue, especially with people who are intelligent and can express themselves logically and clearly. I figured if I could do so in any forum, that would be the one! Maybe I idealized the "type" too much, because just as there are instigators everywhere, I ran into a few there.
As I said, I love to argue. But this is provided that the other person/people are actually making rational points. Instead, I'm dealing with button-pushers who want to invoke an emotional response and undermine me that way, rather than address my statements. WTF? Emotionalism, sweeping generalizations, and name-calling have no place in a debate, as far as I'm concerned. If people can't their points rationally and logically, I really have no use for them.
So, as I often do with groups (and people) I no longer take pleasure in associating with, I'm distancing myself. This is usually followed by removal, though not always. But really - why waste my time and emotional energy in a situation that brings me nothing but irritation? There are a few people there who really have interesting things to say, so I may stick around, but the bad apples really have spoiled the barrel for me.
I'm often curious about how many other people respond similarly to this sort of situation. I can be a little too generous in dealing with others and giving them the benefit of the doubt, but once someone crosses the line with me that's pretty much it. I've cut a number of people off in my life, and I honestly have no regrets about it. Well, that's not quite accurate - I have no regrets about cutting them off, but I do have regrets about engaging with them in the first place. I know I'm supposed to be "intuitive" and "judging" as an INTJ, but when my intuition leads me astray and I judge someone incorrectly as being worthy of my time/emotion/trust, it really aggravates me.
So I remove myself.
Anyway, I joined a while ago, and just recently decided to change my messages to "individual emails" to see what was up. I even participated in a number of discussions. I love to argue, especially with people who are intelligent and can express themselves logically and clearly. I figured if I could do so in any forum, that would be the one! Maybe I idealized the "type" too much, because just as there are instigators everywhere, I ran into a few there.
As I said, I love to argue. But this is provided that the other person/people are actually making rational points. Instead, I'm dealing with button-pushers who want to invoke an emotional response and undermine me that way, rather than address my statements. WTF? Emotionalism, sweeping generalizations, and name-calling have no place in a debate, as far as I'm concerned. If people can't their points rationally and logically, I really have no use for them.
So, as I often do with groups (and people) I no longer take pleasure in associating with, I'm distancing myself. This is usually followed by removal, though not always. But really - why waste my time and emotional energy in a situation that brings me nothing but irritation? There are a few people there who really have interesting things to say, so I may stick around, but the bad apples really have spoiled the barrel for me.
I'm often curious about how many other people respond similarly to this sort of situation. I can be a little too generous in dealing with others and giving them the benefit of the doubt, but once someone crosses the line with me that's pretty much it. I've cut a number of people off in my life, and I honestly have no regrets about it. Well, that's not quite accurate - I have no regrets about cutting them off, but I do have regrets about engaging with them in the first place. I know I'm supposed to be "intuitive" and "judging" as an INTJ, but when my intuition leads me astray and I judge someone incorrectly as being worthy of my time/emotion/trust, it really aggravates me.
So I remove myself.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
*Screams*
I am not a motorcycle fan (or fanatic). But seriously people - COME the fuck ON! Riding a motorcycle doesn't mean that someone hitting you isn't responsible because of the vehicle YOU are riding!!!
End of mini-rant.
End of mini-rant.
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