Monday, February 28, 2011

Broken Promises

The closer we draw to the goals we decided that we have to meet in order to get out of this house and move (at this point preferentially to Roswell), the more I feel like I'm breaking a promise. To myself, yes, but also to family members I never really declared my intentions to.

I'm resigned to not making my grandparents' house our "family home" (for me and Chris and the theoretical future progeny), but I'm not giving up on keeping their house in the family. It still KILLS me that Gramma's house went to auction and sold for what it did. If Chris and I had had ANY inclination that such would be the case, things would have gone very differently. I am resolved that this will not happen again. I feel this way about MomMom and PopPop's house, and also about Aunt Gerry and Uncle Ed's house. These are two that have "historical" significance and really shouldn't leave the family.

But this doesn't mean a change to our current plans/aspirations. There is SO much in Georgia that I look forward to! Fantastic houses on nice properties (with MATURE trees!) at amazingly reasonable prices, my sister and her family nearby, an amazing city and outlying area that we love, and parenting resources that can't be found around here. I'm approaching the age where (assuming it's even possible) bearing children is increasingly dangerous for me and said children. I want to be out of this house and neighborhood as soon as possible, and I really want to be in the Roswell area if/when the fruit of my loins spring forth to unleash their mayhem upon the earth.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Recap (more "Common Sense")

I've been thinking about revisiting the food/ED stuff for a while. It's not like I ran out of things to say, more like I was worried it would take over here when that hadn't been my original purpose. But a family member recently started a blog on food issues, which reminded me that I might want to think about this issue again in light of our impending planned move and family expansion. And re-reading those old posts, I'll admit that they make me sad because I fell off the proverbial wagon in times of pain and loss, and am now back at square one. But I do want to get better and plan to do so, especially if we have a child. I will NOT model my current eating on a child. ANY child.

And then today Jezebel posted an article that highlighted a lot of my points on correlation vs. causation: Things that supposedly cause eating disorders. I know what Jez was trying to do, and I salute the effort, but they missed a big opportunity to embark on a serious discussion.

So now I have several reasons to get everything I've written together in one place, and straight in my head. Without further ado, here are my former posts on this subject:

There may well be more to come on this topic. Part of me wants it, part of me dreads it. I know friendship issues are something I never explored and now I feel motivated to do so. Hopefully I won't drop that ball. It's a painful subject for me, but what isn't? And given that the subject played a major role in the eating issues of a family member, I would be remiss in ignoring it. Please let me be better than that.

Saturday, February 05, 2011


I don't profess to know everything (or anything even close) about the body or the spirit. I don't claim to have even the barest grasp on the nature of miracles. I believe in them as a concept, if only as the manifestation of extremely unlikely statistical outcomes; but I can't declare any personal experience of divinity or claim a belief that such events are the result of intervention from a higher power.

I do know this: two people who mean a LOT to me in different ways are alive today, despite many indicators proclaiming that they would/should have been gone more than 6 months ago. I can't label it and don't want to. I just want - and plan - to celebrate the fact that they are still here. And no matter the cause/reason, it feels like a miracle to me.